How can anyone like you when you can’t even like yourself
“
Girls
are tied down to a double standard. When guys are called flirtatious, it’s a compliment, it’s normal, it’s accepted. When girls are being arguably flirtatious, more or less, being nice, they’re labeled as sluts, whores, hoes, and from people who have no idea what the meaning of those words are. Let me clarify for you, a slut(n.): a girl that has fucked so many guys, she can’t close her legs anymore; a whore(n.): a woman who sleeps with you for something in exchange, usually money; a hoe(n.) a promiscuous person, syn: slut. Where in those definitions state that these words define someone who is flirty? On that note, let me define what flirting is, “flirting is a playful, romantic, or sexual overture by one person to another subtly indicating a small interest in a deeper relationship with the other person” Only those who have the mental capacity of a normal human being would realize that flirting is essentially making someone else’s day by being nicer than one normally would be. I can admit, I once fell victim to the norm of casually calling girls sluts, whores, hoes, etc. , however, I finally realized the how derogatory those words actually are because I now know what it’s like to get stuck with the short end of the stick and for those who also got stuck with the short end of the stick, I’m sorry. For those who lack the mental capacity and the maturity… well go read a dictionary once in awhile you immature ignorant nuisances . Period.
I’m nowhere near
to perfect, I know that. I’ve learned that high school is a vast open space that lies, gossip, and rumors are allowed to fester, reproduce, and manifest. I’ve learned the real world is not so different. I can’t change who I am, least of all for the ones who think the lowest of me. They don’t deserve the privilege of knowing I changed to adapt to their likings, what right do they have to judge me based on what they think they know about me and my decisions. Life is unfair. I’m not criticizing it for I know that changes nothing. I’m just pointing out the harsh realities people are forced to face. It’s easier to pretend like nothing phases me, that I’m above it all, that I can walk around parading with my head held high when there’s nothing more that I want than to walk around hoping no one notices me. But that isn’t an option, I can’t let them know they’ve won.
It’s weird that
when another person becomes involved in a relationship, I feel a twang of “I wish that was me” but then it goes away and a whole new feeling takes over, ” fuck b1tch3$ g3t m0n3y” HAHA I used to be one of those people who spent a lot of their time wondering why they weren’t in a relationship yet and was jealous of those who were. I finally found clarity and I no longer have that mentality because honestly I know I have other shit to worry about. If a relationship doesn’t happen for me during high school, thank the lord. I know too many people who aren’t mature enough to be involved in a relationship and I don’t have the willpower or energy to deal with that anymore and you all know who I have to thank for that. For those who make their lives about knowing about mine, I’ll brush you off now because in about a year, none of this bullshit, none of you ignorant people, none of the stupid shit you pull will have anything to do with me and my life anymore. I used to think that what happened in movies would someday happen to me in real life, I craved it, it fueled me, it kept me going. Now every time I watch a romantic movie, I just bask in the ridiculousness of it all, sure it gives you something to hope for, but it gives you false hope, an intangible idea that you spend your life waiting for it to show up at your doorstep but that shouldn’t be the basis of real life. I’m not holding onto fairytale feelings, I know better now. Fairytales only exist in books and movies, and I’m okay with that.
